Category Archives: survival

Why You Shouldn’t Ask, “Who Had It First?”

Sharing is hard! From the earliest years, my children have struggled with the concept, and lately I’ve learned that I’m asking the wrong questions when I do try to resolve some of the arguments. (Occasionally I try to let them sort it out, but we are still in early years yet).

I’ve learned not to ask, “Now, who had it first?” And give it to the child who claimed this title of “first.” Why? Let me explain.


A single instance that it clicked, I was asking the wrong question. No, I don’t want my children taking toys and not being told it’s wrong. No, I wasn’t going to let them battle it out. I was going to start asking the right questions.

At the table one day, after I had given the kids their snacks, I hear the familiar sound of bickering over a chair. They both want it. (Never mind that there are 7 others exactly like it.) Neither are willing to give it up. The older yells a claim of being there “first” and the second follows it up with “no, you weren’t!”

Now, I would have sided with the first, as she tends to be a bit more truthful, would she have not followed up her claim with, “when I sat down this morning with my breakfast, I was sitting in this chair!”

(And thank goodness she did, because in it came a valuable lesson. For me.)

Wait a minute. Breakfast was hours ago. She is laying claim to the chair she had sat in for a few minutes, from a totally different part of today. Technically she was there, “first” that day, but this was not what I was asking.

Or was I?

I followed up my question, which now seemed to miss a certain perspective, with, “when I gave you your snacks just now, who sat down first? Just now. Not earlier.” The older child admitted that the second was seated first at this instance, but she had sat there for breakfast. And afterwards, “did you take the seat from her just now then?” She nodded.

It’s all about perspective.

This goes the same for toys, or anything really. Asking who had it “first” is all a matter of what the child’s reference point is compared to yours. You are asking about one instance in time. They may be thinking about it as “I was first this day to touch this toy” even if they’ve put it down in between. Maybe “this is the toy I was given for a present, so of course I touched it first when I received it.” It’s all in the perspective.

Now, what questions would be better to ask, to gauge whether one child is right (assuming the children are telling the truth). I’ve figured that, “Did you take it from…?” Is probably a wiser question. (Or being more specific and referring to the instance in question.) And a follow up of asking the other child if the same question, because of course, they could have snatched it before, and then there is a whole new lesson in how we treat others.

Of course, this is simplified a lot, and assuming that the truth is being told by all parties involved. You do need to use discernment in these situations, but I’ve definitely learned that my perspective is possibly completely different to my children when I ask about who was “first.”


What have you found you need to explain more when you’re asking your children questions?

Self Care and the Mom’s Night In Box: A Review

Mummy Review: I neglect to practise self-care a whole lot of the time. Mom’s Night In Boxes are a good way to help me practise self-care.

Disclosure: I was sent the Mom’s Night In Box in exchange for a review, however all opinions and suggestions are my own. The “Date Night In Box” is an affiliate link, which means I may get credit for qualifying referrals. See my disclosure policy for more details.

Time to myself is scarce lately. Especially since my littlest refuses to sleep through the night no matter the strategies or products we try. I know that it is important to take care of yourself as a mother, but it is HARD to find the time. Often, I am drained and exhausted by the end of the day, and the baby still won’t be officially “asleep for the night” until around 2 or 3 in the morning. (With that, he still wakes hourly or every other hour, so getting anything apart from sleep done is nearly impossible.)

The Mom’s Night In Box offers even a little pampering for those few minutes you find (or you lucky ladies can turn it into a night)! I was gifted this gorgeous little box and wanted to tell you all about it, because who doesn’t like a nice treat or pampering every now and then?

“Every month, MOMS NIGHT IN sends you a box filled with fun, unique, and relaxing moms night in items, ideas, and activities, all aimed to help you take a moment every month that is just for you! Each month will be a new theme and will focus on helping you renew and recharge.” — -~MomsNightInBox.com

The Mom’s Night In Box is a subscription service box full of pampering goodies (or you can choose just a once off). For a few minutes, or a whole night, you can get yourself started off with some of the great selections inside!
The June box included:
Stash Lavender-Tulsi Herbal Tea (in a teabag)
Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla Leave-in Conditioner
The Earthy Child Fresh Mint Sugar Lip Scrub
LemonCrate Handcrafted Cleansing Grain Scrub
Sinful Colors Professional Nail Polish in Rose Dust
Salon Board, Bath Scrubber, Face Cloth, 3 candles, small disposable cup and a sprig of lavender.

Since my husband was on baby watch, I make sure to use this opportunity for a nice bath. Yes, it may have been midnight, but I was going to use this opportunity to the fullest! I lit the candles and put in some of my favourite bath soak (Milk Bath) from The Body Shop along with my Christmas present, a never-opened bath pillow.

Next step was the face mask, which was definitely a refreshing feeling (and a resealable bag, since I only used a small amount), and let that set while the bath filled. The Sugar Lip Scrub was a cute little container and great for the winter months, since my lips are often dry and in need of exfoliation.

After I boiled some water in a kettle, I poured myself the tea, which was a nice change to my typical English Breakfast. I like that it came in a tea bag rather than loose leaf. It had a nice relaxing bit of lavender in it, great for a Saturday night!

After that, just soaking and enjoying the quiet, and use the scrubber which was handy. Yes, I know The Mom’s Night In Box website does have some music to play along, but I like the quiet. It’s not a common occurrence, so I cherish every silent moment.

The Black Vanilla Hair Conditioner smells absolutely amazing! I love that it can be used in wet or dry hair, or as a detangler and just left in! (I may have used it in-between showers, too, just so I smelled a bit nicer!) My girls insisted on their having some as well, as they like nice-smelling things.

I’m actually saving the nail polish for some time with my girls, so I haven’t utilised that as of now, but they’re in love with the colour! Maybe we can use some of the leftover scrubs and pampering bits for a little bit of a girly-night-in!

If you were interested in getting a Mom’s Night In Box, I do recommend it for either you or the person in your life who needs some pampering, even just for a few minutes!

Screen shot from Momsnightinbox.com

The Mom’s Night In Boxes come in various price ranges, from  a monthly subscription (non-renewing) to a full year’s subscription of Mom’s Night In Boxes delivered to your door each month!

Screen shot from Momsnightinbox.com

Do you want something a little different? Maybe something for time with the husband? How about getting another one of the their “Night In Boxes“?! They also offer a Date Night In Box, Faith Night In Box, and Daddy Daughter Night In Box along with the Mom’s Night In Box! They seem to have some great ideas for all sorts of night’s in, so if you are looking for something different to other subscription boxes, this is one to try! They do ship to the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and a few other countries!

What do you do to practise self-care? Do you remember to set time aside, or do you neglect to remember too often?

Encouragement: A Movement

Mummy Confession: I have bad days. Bad weeks even. I often get discouraged.  

As a parent and a human being, I am subject to doubting my worth, questioning my purpose, and flooding my mind with useless and negative thoughts. A kind word, or word of encouragement can make so much of a difference in the way I go about my day.

Being surrounded by little people and limited adult interaction all day long can be so draining! I wanted to create an initiative, if you will, to help others: Other mums, other parents, and other carers out there. Call it a movement if you will. I would love to see this go far and help someone who needs just that little bit of care to help them through their day!

Here’s how you can participate:

A short note with some encouraging words. I have included a few downloadable cards for you to use if you wish, just to give encouragement to others.

*Please let me know if it isn’t working*

Go to the Download here! (Feel free to copy, paste, and print!)

See that mum in the grocery store with the tantruming toddler? Her.

That dad with four in tow looking like he’s got it all together? Him.

The grandparents, carers, and parents that could always use a bit of TLC. Them.

Feel free to write a message on them, or just give them (if they’re written already). I’ve even created a few if you should buy a coffee for that exhausted looking mum with three kids in tow, or a meal for someone just because. Let’s spread the encouragement and get back that sense of community. Feel free to tag #ROAKencourage so we can see the encouragement and how it might have had an impact on someone’s day! (ROAK= Random Acts Of Kindness) Speak an encouraging word, or offer a smile.

I can’t say how much I’ve appreciated people taking the time to stop and speak kind words, and I enjoy doing the same when it looks like someone may need them, too.

Tree Hut Village: The Parent-to-Parent Lending/Borrowing Community

Mummy Confession: I have a hard time letting go of things I’ve bought for babies, especially the “big ticket” items.

Disclosure: This post is not affiliated, sponsored, or otherwise endorsed by Tree Hut Village.

We’ve all done this, I’m sure. After having one child, and unsure about time between children, we put the car seat, the high chair, and maybe even other  large items in storage. They gather dust and appear useless until needed again for years. It’s either that or sell on buy/sell pages for a few dollars more than nothing

Did you know, though, there is a way to make some extra money off of those unused baby products you’ve packed away in storage, just in case you need it again?

Introducing Tree Hut Village, a parent-to-parent lending community! I’m excited to tell you all about this new platform, and hope you are as excited as I am about this opportunity to help others, and maybe make a little back in your pocket as well!

What is Tree Hut Village and why was this community created?
Why the name “Tree Hut Village”?
How can I participate in this community?
Why should I participate in this community?
Where do I find Tree Hut Village?

Screenshot of Tree Hut Village’s website: Main Page

What is Tree Hut Village and why was this community created?

Tree Hut Village is Australia’s first parent to parent baby equipment
hire platform.^ It is a community designed to allow those who wish to hire their baby equipment to parents.

This initially was designed with traveling parents in mind, as they have the choice to either drag their bulky equipment around in and out of travel locations, or hire from a company. It can be quite a lengthy and expensive process to hire from big companies. Tree Hut Village provides a simple 3 step, all online, process for both lending and selling.

Listing your items is completely free, and there is no cost to start up. Tree Hut Village only deducts a 15% administration fee after you have approved a booking. I have to say that’s amazing, for the fact that they connect you to a community that would otherwise be very difficult to manage yourself!

I love the community that Tree Hut Village has created for parents, and the opportunity to support local families while we travel!

 

Why the name “Tree Hut Village”?

^Tree Hut Village was the name chosen because the creators wanted to express what’s important to them:

– Fewer items go to landfills (“the tree”)
– Enabling giving back to the community (“the hut” stands for tangible things)- that’s why we partnered with charities like St. Kilda mums
– Parents helping parents to travel hassle free or to earn some extra
(“the village”)

Screenshot of Tree Hut Village’s website: Search Feature

How can I participate in this community? Why should I participate?

Firstly, you need to go online and register with the platform, and you just start either listing items you would like to lend (they must comply with Australian standards and be no more than 6 years old), or selecting items you would like to borrow.

The lending process is merely three steps:
1. List an item (it’s completely free!)
2. Approve bookings as they are requested.
3. Connect with borrowers when and lend your baby equipment.

Again for someone borrowing, just three steps required:
1. Search for an item and check its availability.
2. Book and pay via the security of the website.
3. Connect with the lender and confirm pick-up details.

Both lenders and borrowers are able to leave reviews, and the listing will remain active until changed by the lender themselves.

You should participate because it’s a good way to make use of your baby equipment while it is just around collecting dust! Be a part of the community and help others who would like to either trial a product before they buy it, use equipment while they travel rather than hiring elsewhere, or just have an item for a shorter period of time rather than buying it. We all know that baby equipment can be expensive to buy outright, and it’s only used for a small portion of time!

The community is growing, and it would be amazing to see people from all over Australia offering to lend their unused baby equipment in order to help others!

Screenshot of Tree Hut Village’s website: Item listing

 

Where do I find Tree Hut Village?

Tree Hut Village Website: https://www.treehutvillage.com.au
Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/treehutvillageau
Instagram Page: http://www.instagram.com/treehutvillage

^Statements sourced from the creator of the platform Tree Hut Village

My Laundry Room: The Vortex of Doom

Mummy Confession: This is my Laundry Room. The never ending vortex of doom.

Laundry, dirty clothes, sick kids, doom, pile, motherhood, parenting, toilet Training, potty training

It just keeps piling up. The job that’s never done. And it’s funny. All of the kids are sick now, plus one teething (ie “don’t you dare put me down or leave me alone, and you can forget about an easy sleep.”) and one toilet training (ie. “I’m big and I won’t thoroughly soak my bed linens every night…”). This means the laundry is constantly piling up and never-ending.

As a matter of fact, just after waking this morning, my baby coughed quite a bit and then threw up all over my face and chest. He did the same yesterday. What does that mean? More laundry.

Rather than look at this insane pile and be completely overwhelmed (which I am every time I open that door), I’ve decided to try to think positively about what this room means.

Here are three reasons why  when my laundry room is overflowing, it’s a good thing:

1. It means I can take care of my family. My kids. My husband. I am so thankful for them all. And doing their laundry means they are (other than the minor cold) healthy and home. Safe and secure.

2. We have.  We have clothes. We have towels. We have blankets. We have a roof over our head. We have a sanitary place with clean water to wash clothes. We have what we need.

3. My kids are learning, reaching milestones, and growing. Yes, there will be some set backs and wet bets, but soon enough she will be accomplishing far more than I can imagine.

So regardless of the laundry that just keeps growing, I can be thankful, grateful for the things we have. And hopefully this thankfulness will stay with me until the sickness passes, and I conquer the vortex of doom.

How can you look at seemingly negative events or things in your life right now and be thankful?