Mummy Confession: I bribe my kids. All the time.
Before I was a parent, I vowed I would never be, “one of those parents who bribes their kids.” My children would learn to behave. Little did I know, thinking like a future mum and actually being a mum are two different things. Plus the fact that bribing the children doesn’t mean they aren’t behaving. Let me tell you my tale of how I discovered the blessing of bribery. Some may call it “incentives ” or “rewards” or even a tool for positive parenting. But for me personally it falls under the category of bribery. (And for me, I’m not saying it as a bad thing at all!)
I don’t recall a lot of my childhood, but I do remember one particular bribe that worked well for me. I have always hated those closed slides at Play places. Well, I was stuck at the top of one long ago and refused to go down. Enter bribe. I forget the actual amount, but a certain cash incentive was brought fourth, and what do you know, I slid. Now, I just stay away from the staticky disasters. But, I digress.
Sure, I sailed through the first months with a baby who went un-bribed and it was going great! I first happened upon the trade of bribery when my fast-growing child was interrupting every chore and meal, and I needed something to distract so I could get something done or eaten. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to snack bribery. Little miss was given a treat of a rusk, though there would be mess for me to clean afterward, and mum was given time to eat.
Later in toddler-hood, small bribes accompanied us along our journey. The trade off was beneficial to accomplish cleaning, shopping, eating, and sitting through sermons on Sunday.
Generally, the bribe is an understanding between individuals. If they are given this, they will in turn do something, or if they do something they will receive this in return. While we still excercise discipline, bribery is a balance I am willing to throw in there as well. Generally, it is a reward for good behaviour such as Potty training time. Occasionally, it means putting on a DVD so I can hang the washing. Sometimes it even means promising a special treat when the shopping is finished.
One guideline I do have for my bribery, though, is that if my children are demanding, whining, or complaining for what I’ve bribed with, that they will not receive it. This is usually outlined in my original stipulations for their bribe. Let me tell you, sometimes this part is the worst, because all I want to do is give in to the screaming and hush it, but in order for the bribery to work best, I need to have this in place.
Whether it be a toy, stickers, screen time, or ironically enough chores, bribery helps my life as mum to be a little less of a chaotic jumble of screams and fights. It makes learning new things more fun as well, because there is a reward at the end! In the end, it’s about balance anyways.
So tell me, do you administer bribes in your house?
26 thoughts on “I Bribe My Kids”
Enter Halloween candy! I do it too even thought I tried not too.
Im totally a briber… i almost bought Ben a teddy just to keep him quiet around Tescos the other day and than realised if I did that, he’d expect it.
Luckily he was ok without it but I did let him hold it whilst i got the last few bits… thank god he didnt start eating it like he normally does with his teddies!
Thank you for joining us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back on Tuesday
at younger ages, they are a lot easier to just put things back with! We used to do that and then I understood why there was random stuff at the cash register all the time! ?
Oh God yes all the time! I do it without even knowing I’m doing it these days. Sometimes it’s the only way to survive life with a four year old! Thanks for linking up to #TriumphantTales, hope to see you again on Tuesday!
I can’t imagine trying to do parenting without bribery! ?
Yes! Even now my kids are older I still use it, though it can cost me more lol.
I think it gets pricey as they get older ? because they get smarter!
Yes, yes and yes! It works so i do it 😉 xx #truimphanttales
?? Ok. I will keep on bribing then!
I really can’t imagine parenting without bribery & corruption!
? I think bribery is an essential for my sanity!
Yup – chocolate buttons are a well-used behaviour currency in my house! #TriumphantTales
I like the use of the word “currency”! Kinder is the favourite currency here!
Haha I love this! Yes! Yes I do! Kinder Eggs, Pocket Money, Time watching youtube you name it.
Yes! Pocket change works well for us, because they like the super big coins!
I have no trouble with bribery in certain circumstances. I get paid for my job – maybe humans just work best with extrinsic rewards! We don’t do pocket money for chores in our house as I think the kids should do certain age-appropriate household jobs just because they live in the house. But a little extra screen time if they go above and beyond is OK by me.
True! I never thought of it that way!
we use biscuit bribes in our house.
Biscuits are definitely among the tools of the trade here, too!
You say bribery, i say persuasion using things they enjoy! 🙂
Definitely persuades my kids! 🙂
We’ve all been there!
Good to know I’m not alone!
Yep, with my little one. A bit of iPad time goes a long way!
Screen time seems to be the strongest bribe here by far!